Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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