I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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