I'm really into asian looking animals
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
