it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize