marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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