You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
