I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
