I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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