So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
