We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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