whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
