i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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