so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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