so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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