What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
