sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
