we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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