Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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