yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
