How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
