you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
