i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
