I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
