ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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