it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
