I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
