I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
