More tranny stories later!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In other news, I just burned my penis
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
