I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
