you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
