At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
