btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
