She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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