put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
