so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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