I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
