Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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