I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
