For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
