I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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