I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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