i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
His nipple licking is glorious
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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