Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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