my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
