I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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