sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think I just sharted jello shots
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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