Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
