He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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