Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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