erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize