I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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