it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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