I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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