Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
