her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
