Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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