we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i think i just lost a toe
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