So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
