ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
