Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
