Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
