it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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